My Sun and Stars

It's nighttime in November and I'm at the beach.  Just a couple of months ago, days would see this place teeming with surfers, sunbathers, and families.  At night, these sands and waves housed teenagers, doing what teenagers do best- being somewhere other than home, fighting to claim some time as their own in an otherwise tightly scheduled life.  Throughout the year, at all hours of day and night, these sidewalks give runners their routines and dogs a familiar path with their owners.  Their numbers have started to thin out now.  The runners who may have ventured into the sand stick with sidewalks and daytime.  The dog walkers only go out as necessitated by their animals' needs before retreating back to their cozy living rooms.

Hurry up and pee. American Dancing with The X-Factor And Pregnant is on soon!

It's not exactly cold out, but it's chilly enough to send the teenagers indoors to fight their rebellion in the comfy chairs at Starbucks or the corridors of malls.  I'm alone out here, under the speckled sky, where Venus demands my attention, glowing far brighter than is necessary.  I remember how much I loved Astronomy and then how quickly I realized I didn't like how much complicated math was involved.  But I still appreciate the beauty of a night sky, even though the nearly full moon is resulting in a tide that approaches my feet, inching me backwards, closer to the civilization that obscures the brilliant view.

Days here have been strange lately.  It doesn't feel like the end of the year, like the holidays are nearly here.  I go to lunch when it's sunny and clear and 85°.  That sort of weather doesn't exactly inspire one to start singing Christmas songs.

Unless you're Australian. But those people are all weird and upside down.

I think about how much has changed in the last year.  I think about how it feels like so much longer than a year.  I think about how the last 12 months have flown past far too quickly.

A year ago, after having only lived with my family, I moved in with some guy we found on Craigslist and now I marvel at how this dude has become one of my best friends.  On the subject of roommates, I started with two roommates and a dog.  Then it was three roommates and a dog.  And then, once again, two roommates and a dog.  That was followed by two roommates and a cat.  And now, it's three roommates, a cat, and a dog.

And a partridge in a pear tree

I went on a few dates and had countless fleeting crushes, all the while believing that I was incapable of monogamy.  And then I met this guy and found myself in the best relationship I've ever been in.  And now the aforementioned roommate/friend has moved in with this guy, effectively placing two of my favorite men under one roof.

A year ago, I worked a job that was rapidly destroying my will to live.  And all the failed interviews for better positions did not give me any confidence in my ability to extricate myself from that position.  And then, one day, I found myself in an office, without an uncomfortable polyester uniform.

It seems like far too much to have only taken a year, and still, every time I write the day's date and realize that another 24 hours has passed, I am astounded at how fast this year has gone.  Maybe it's because, despite all the days and nights, despite all the changes, despite everything, I still did not accomplish something that means so much to me.  In fact, much to my dismay and, at times, disgust, I've only drifted further.  But I'm still hopeful.  Here I am, on the beach, walking when everyone else has gone home for the night.  And here I'll be, every night under the stars, until I can come out in the sun looking like this.

*Editor's note: I apologize to anyone who read the title and expected this to be a blog about Game of Thrones.  To make it up to you, here's a picture of attractive people.